a bunch of jibber jabber

I found today to be an especially rough day. I feel like no matter what the outcome of this IVF cycle, I feel so robbed. I look around me all the time and notice all the women who are blessed with 2 children and wonder why I am not given that choice. Why can't I be one of those women who choses the number of kids I have and when I have them. Now I know life is really unfair sometimes and there are people who have experienced a lot worse life situations than my dh and I have, but it still stinks. I watched my son plan in the backyard today with tears in my eyes thinking he may never have a sibling and that hurts. On the other hand, thinking this way just reemphasises what a true miracle he is. But that refreshing realization is shortlived as I remind my self I may never be able to have another baby again.